Certainty
"There is no certainty; there is only adventure." Roberto Assagioli
Certainty can be a dangerous thing. Like suspicion, certainty can remove us from possibility, especially when it comes to relationship and communicating with other humans. Curiosity is a powerful counter strategy that we can use to open possibility in relationship and to make way for growth and creation of a Life of Meaning.
The challenge for all of us in life is that our brain lies about the reality it perceives. Because it is uncompromising in its commitment to survive, it gives the human brain a false sense of permanence, so we feel better about living in the ever-changing world that surrounds us.
If we don’t question what we perceive we will eventually be ambushed by reality.
The crazy thing is that we go about our lives so sure about who we are, who others are and how circumstances will turn out. By living in a state of certainty, we stop wondering about what is possible outside of the narrow way we see life.
We often confuse confidence with certainty. Certainty has to do with being convinced that what we perceive is happening is real. Confidence is trust enough to investigate the paradox of doubting what seems real, to get real.
Psychologist and neuro-researcher Michael Gazzaniga has written: “The left brain weaves its story in order to convince itself and you that it is in full control…. What is so adaptive about having what amounts to a spin doctor in the left brain? The interpreter is trying to keep our personal story together. To do that, we have to learn to lie to ourselves.”
So when we get up against circumstances we cannot change, we are faced with changing ourselves. If we have been practicing permanence with our brain, we will find ourselves helpless to do anything about providing what is wanted and needed.
Can you think of anything you have been so certain of about yourself or others that have hindered growth or intimacy? Make a list of certainties that you have been living with. Have these conversations you have been having made you feel "right" and "in control"? Is there something available in this list that a little curiosity could stir up in conversations with yourself and others?
Change strikes fear into the heart of the permanent, but opens possibility in the eyes of the confident! The next time things change on you and fear arises, be confident and trust there is possibility you aren’t seeing. While The Certain know, the curious are confident they will discover the unknown.
Keep kicking at the indifference until it bleeds life!
Dan Tocchini
#trainyourhero